Hi U-turn, sounds like a productive meeting with your L. Yes, they are not pro-marriage are they? I think mine is a bit frustrated that I merely want to get the house sold and separate finances - not actually file for D. But you just have to instruct them in your chosen course of action. I agree about the fees - hair raising (I'm in the wrong job.) I try to do as little as possible to waste my L's time.

In terms of guilt and shame. I have read that guilt is more about feeling 'I did something bad' and shame 'I am bad.' Brene Brown has written some interesting stuff on shame, and also has a couple of TED talks..

Good luck with everything :-)

T 13 M 7
Me 48 H 46
SS 15
BD 7.14 PA
D final 5.16 (H filed)

We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus