Roommates for the Next Two Months

[DifRent]

Toots and BW... thanks, and yes. She is completely driven by her emotions right now, and I need to remember that. She is usually so practical and logical. To see her behaving this way is really so out of character.

Also... I shouldn't have, but she left her phone downstairs last night and I "couldn't help myself..." driven by emotion, haha, I looked through some texts. Didn't see anything I didn't expect to see, except again, the things my W is saying just don't even sound like her. And promises like, "I want to spend the rest of my life with you" don't bother me as much as they would have, say, a month ago... maybe because I think they deserve each other? Or because she is desperately trying to impress and hang onto the OW? Or maybe because they are just words spoken through the fog.

She is equating love with someone making her happy. That's not love. WE all know that's not love. We know that love is sacrificial, that it costs, that it is an action not a feeling. But she doesn't get that - now. I thought she used to, but maybe she never has. If she just wants all the things and feelings she can get from this affair, I don't know that even the "best possible me" could tear her away.

So, considering all that, and since in her mind we are done, and we aren't legally married, and we don't have kids to raise together, and we're moving out of the house, and she's so "head over heels" with the OW, who she doesn't see any longer as an affair partner and instead sees as her "new" partner, and who is far more financially secure and stable than I am... how CAN I be her lighthouse?