Man I really, am getting frustrated with my W now. She seems to find every chance to text me. She is now asking me when I leave the island and report to my next duty station. I asked her why it was so important that she knew, but I gave her the information anyhow. This is what I get back in reply.
W-Honestly I get an uneasy feeling about when you are leaving. I am having a hard time trusting what you say because you keep changing your story on me. This is important information because we need to talk about paperwork and how we are going to get a hold of eachother in the future until everything is completely separated.
This was my response.
M-Listen, lets not talk about trust being hard to have ok! Secondly what I am doing is what's best for me. Honestly There is nothing you truly need to know about my situation. I always have email and I will always answer back. You already know my stance on everything. Once I receive the divorce paperwork I will sign and not contest anything PER the terms we agreed upon (and Rys, is that somewhere in writing? If so, attach it. Otherwise refer to it and if it is not in writing, draft a copy of what you believe you two agreed to, and send it to her. ) "W, this is to confirm the terms we agreed upon earlier. Is this how you recall them? Can you let me know what, if anything, needs changing? Thanks."
as long as you do what we agreed upon as far as splitting things. If you feel there is more to talk about please let me know. But I have been honest with you from the start of this split. even when I didn't have to be. So I am not sure why you are uneasy, what does me leaving have anything to do with you? It's not like our lives cross other than the dogs anyhow. Accept for that possible chance I see you out in town or at work but that will end soon. If there is something you need let me know.
I probably said too much but I am just so confused by now as to WTF she is up too. I'm actually really curious.
Don't worry about what SHE is up to. Create a life for yourself and move forward.
As for the friend and unfriending thing, you were too wordy as well.
Also, if the reason is that it's too painful for you to see reminders on fb, SAY THAT and don't go off on your w about whether she has the right to say anything.
She THINKS she does. She thinks you are proving how vindictive and mean you are, etc.
Telling her that Not having someone as a "Fb friend" is NOT the same as not being friends.
Telling her that it's part of you
"Some of the things on fb hinder my forward motion, which is a priority for me. Some times they are reminders of a really painful experience for me, which I'd think you of all people would understand. But thanks for your concern."
Acting as if your w is being reasonable and fair AND considerate of your feelings may give her something to live UP TO, rather than defending herself so much.
