..."sorry for hurting me, but she just couldn't help it."
Yes, she could have helped. It was a choice. Have you told her you don't want hugs? I think you have, but I can't remember. Does not seem appropriate for her to expect any affection from you with what she is putting you through.
Sending positive thoughts your way.
Me: 42 H: 40 M: 12 H moved out - 8/2015 I filed - 8/2015