Drove down to the Finger Lakes yesterday with D12. It's beautiful and we saw some things we loved. The waterfall in Montour Falls is awe inspiring. A nice day trip.

Don't see how I could cut my income to nearly half, without any benefits. I had asked the publisher via email to tell me the pay before he bothered calling. He didn't tell me until we had our phone interview.

I think I will respond that I just can't accept that pay, but thanks anyway.

Woke up very, very down.

I feel like a terrible mother right now. Can't seem to right this ship.

Spoke to my mother yesterday who told me, again, she plans on visiting to help "sometime."

I did reach out to some organizer/therapists/coaches. I may reach out again. I can't afford it, but I can't really afford not to either.

The part of me with some clarity sees that I need to get back on my meds and find someone to help me organize/therapize. Putting that into place seems herculean right now. Honestly, it feels like being asked to move a mountain. I know that's the depression.

So, I'm going to break this down into chunks.

"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man

“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson