Time to bury the mustard seed

[mustardseed]

Woke up this morning feeling loss and ssadness. Just a feeling. No particular thoughts attached. I haven't woke feeling that way in many months. It passed quickly and was replaced by more wasted headspace on ow. But that passed by the time I got out of the shower. I had to go downstairs to get clothes and coffee and he woke up--he sleeps on the couch which iis why I avoid ddownstairs as much as possible. He got up and was still fully dressed in a button down shirt and corduroy pants. Yes. In mid June june no air conditioner that's how he slept. I don't know why I took note of that, it isn't unusual for him to not change before going to bed, but I guess it just annoyed me enough to bring out my negativity. I stated quiet but I feel like my annoyances through. He rushed out to the patio as fast as possible. The whole thing made me feel superior surperior and smug. Not good. Not healthy.so I recognized this, came back upupstairs and I'm trying to trying to put the focus back on me. Trying to find a peace that can give me a more genuine Pma rather than a bitter smug one.

Bitterness. That's what I'm feeling. That causes me to behave in unhealthy ways. It is good to recognize this. Deep breaths. Time to clean up my side of the street and stop worrying about his. If he feels the need to sleep fully dressed and rush out of the house when I come downstairs so what? It's a waste of my time to judge, and it isn't doing anyone any good. Feeling superior over something so stupid is petty and honestly embarrassing that I stoop to that. Time to let it go. Keep cleaning up my side of the street.