So the W and I had a talk this morning about "moving forward" details. Although much still needs to be ironed out, one thing is for sure: we'll be living under the same roof for pretty much the next two months... with the occasional exception of my heading out of town to retreat and GAL, and maybe she has a plan here or there, I don't know. I wish we could physically separate sooner, but it's just not possible.
Right now, it's storming out. I've been out all night myself, but just got home and am in bed. She's yet to get home, and there's really no telling when that will be. I just know she hasn't stayed the entire night with the OW yet. I'm surprised, but she also seems determined not to do that for some reason.
So I have a routine before I go to bed, if she hasn't arrived home yet. I deliberately leave things literally dark each night. I don't leave any outside lights on, turn off everything inside. When she comes home, there is no warmth to greet her, and she has to light her own way up the stairs to the guest bedroom. There are nice smells, though... I tend to do a little cleaning each evening, and I light candles. In my mind, she gets two messages here: one, this place that once was always well lit and warm and welcoming is no longer, but two, the familiar scents linger... and somewhere deep inside her newly iced heart, that must evoke a fond memory.
I'm wondering what's the opinion of the group... is this a good way to go? Should I keep things dark (kind of like going dark), or leave on the lights? Should I quit cleaning in the evenings and lighting candles? Are these good ways to get subtle messages across? Or should I not bother?
If I've got to spend the next two months with her, I want to make them as positive as possible to pave the way for potential reconciliation down the road. And also, to keep my sanity. Right now, I do not like the woman she's become.
Last edited by Cadet; 06/24/1505:20 PM.
Me: 46 Her: 41 M: 5.5 yrs / S: 20, 18 3/26 W and I meet OW BD: 5/2/2015, she takes off ring W goes to stay with OW 6/26 NC: 9/5 Both moved out: 10/16 I take off my ring and feel... healed: 10/19
