Surviving the rollercoaster by getting off two.

[Karma12]

Hi all,


My brother has continued to have issues with his ex W. It has created more contact with my STBX. as he has been helping my brother with some of the legal stuff. My brother is remarried and has been divorced for six yrs. His ex W was a WAS and now tries to rewrite the story to make my brother out to be the WAS. She is trying to reduce his access to their daughter and causing him a lot of grief.

I sent my STBX the legal info my brother received yesterday. I was at work and had been asked by my brother to come over after work. My STBX called me ( he doesn't call often usually texts) and we talked about my brothers situation. I told him I was going to my brothers later after work and asked if he would join me there and explain to my brother what he was telling me. I said I understand everything you are telling me but I am not you and don't know how to answer their questions like you would. He agreed to come and then went on to tell me about some work things and other stuff in his own life. I finally had to say I really have to go my break is over and I have to get back to my patients. He seemed to enjoy talking to me and didn't want the convo to stop. He was going on at length with his stories. Before his MLC he would always share his stories with me. He said I was always very supportive and a good listener.

He had asked me to text him after work and let him know when we would be going to my brothers. I did and he said he would be ready in a half hour. I told him I would walk to my brothers and meet him there.

When he arrived he had brought SD. Once she heard where he was going she wanted to come too. They were both greeted warmly by my brother and his wife and we set SD up upstairs with a movie so we could have our adult convo.

This was the first time my STBX had seen my brother since we separated almost 3 yrs ago. STBX took a chair from the dining room and sat opposite me and my sister law. ( we were on the couch). My brother poured STBX some wine and then STBX changed his seat and sat on the end of the couch closer to me. We all chatted for a couple of hours and STBX was very helpful with his advice to my Brother. I had gone up and checked on SD and she had fallen asleep pretty quickly after the movie started. When they were going to go STBX asked me to go get SD and he then picked up my dog and pretended to take her. I said oh no you don't. Lol We walked SD and STBX to the door and they both hugged me as they left.

My brother and sister in law said Well that was interesting. I said What was interesting. They said they both noticed that STBX had originally sat at a distance and then moved closer. They said that they caught him watching me and looking at me many times. They said when I would get up and walk across the room his eyes would leave them and follow me. They said he was very aware of you at all times. I said I have noticed he is very comfortable around me but didn't know he was watching me. It was interesting to have someone else see us together and observe our interactions.

STBX texted when he got home and said he hoped he had helped. I thanked him and said he had. I told him I appreciated his help as he is very knowledgeable when it comes to these issues. I said Charlie agrees ( that's my dog) He joked about their venting and i joked back. Then I said We are so smart! Why is it we are apart again? Lol GNite. He sent back a smile lol and GNite.
It was done tongue and cheek. He knew it and I could tell he enjoyed the interaction.

I am noticing that STBX is more like his old self before his MLC. He is now able to engage with me and enjoy the interaction. I will just leave him now to ponder all that and continue to GAL.