I feel this is the end of DBing. For the longest time, I couldn't hide my pain from her, except by hiding myself. Now, I can't hide my anger and I have to face her in mediation. It has resurfaced in the last 2-3 weeks. I can't quite think of a way to approach this whole thing in a jovial too-bad-but-let's-do-it way.
Well Mozza- Are your only two options anger or joviality? I'd aim more for a mindset that you think you can maintain throughout the negotiations that doesn't harm your long term relationship. I'm thinking calm, principled and dignified.
And as to your wife's potential hidden assets- I'd view it through a business like lens. I'm not going to speculate on what a standard settlement might look like where you are. You seem to reasonably feel that you will be a better steward of finances for your children - I would let that be your guiding light throughout.
