Rebuilding my castle...foundation is halfway...

[LoisB]

But, wait. I have to write the other side of this out too...

I'm not sure I should be an editor. The consensus, and I agree, is I'm a good features writer. That's my skillset. I'm good at finding stories where most wouldn't see them and I'm good at creating stories which convey the human emotion involved. That's what I'm good at doing. ^^^^^

But, what if I never get an opportunity like this again? And, the pay is great and I could take this little paper and build it into something great.

But, I know I will never be an anal retentive editor. I mean, I guess I could, but I don't really want to be an editor. That would mean no writing.

And, this area, as beautiful as it is...honestly, I've never seen such beautiful, rural country... it's impoverished which means there are little opportunities to fall back on. And, it's so secluded, especially in the winter, it's hard to get place which require a drive. In other words, I don't like being in a place where my only other job option, locally, is the Walmart. In order for me to find some other employment in say Syracuse, I'd have to make this really long drive.

Sorry for belaboring this on here. But, I have all these thoughts and feelings crashing into one another constantly.

I guess when you been living in the school of hard knocks, it's hard to imagine another good opportunity could surface, ever.

I would love... I would really, really, really love to be closer to a church that speaks my language. Since this all started with Matt, I've become huge fan of Gospel music and I listen to sermons by gospel/evangelist preachers daily.

Heather's laundry list:
A gospel-type church close by
A strong homeschool community--with strong support groups
Beautiful countryside
A sorta artsy/craftsy community
A decent climate with water close to us--would love to swim year-round
Maybe somewhere closer to more Autism support

I've learned a lot, but I've been fairly miserable here. That's kinda an understatement. I've been steadily suicidal.

And, D12 has been miserable.

Ok. I will send out more resumes today in a southern direction. Asheville, Mobile, North Carolina coast...I won't limit my job hunt to newspapers. Frankly, I'd like a higher pay with a lower set of responsibilities and I will find that in trade publications, tech writing, etc...