Thinking about all what you said and how much our decision play a big number on all what is happening.
I think that at this point, the most important is to learn that nothing in life is guaranteed. I have been learning that it is important in any angle of my life.
Now, I can even understand why in the Asian culture it is so symbolic the "bonsai tree". In order for it do not die, it needs to be nurtured every day.
The right amount of light, of dark, water, cutting the right branches, talking to it, singing to it. It's a very intense care and constant love.
I suffer with the loss of something I tough would be forever... but I am thankful for the lesson I have been learning. I will never be the same person and I am sure many of us in this board won't be the same as well.
You are very hurt, regretting some of the decisions you made that became this serious and painful consequence. But life is giving you (us) a chance to learn the important lesson of being more patient, loving, attentive, fun, take life one day at a time and make it count as it would be our last.
We now have a chance to learn to forgive, to let go, to see people as humans and imperfect creatures that are seeking for perfection. I am a very passionate person, I react with big swings of emotions, but I am paying attention in all the lessons I can learn.
I hope you will see things more or less this way and learn as much as you can from this painful time.
I agree with SunnyB, your W seems to be going in circles and is having a very hard time. I also believe that she will eventually go back to a more normal person, caring mom that she was.
She is confused, lost and dealing with the side effects of menopause. Of course she is making this choice, and is right now thinking that this is the only way to resolve her problems.
Like me, and most of the folks here, we do not have control over what WAS do. We need to let them go and just hope for the best. We need to make ourselves better, more loving, more caring and somehow find ourselves in a better place in life.
You are helping every day and I hope to help you every day too. As long as we have a good heart we can always write what make sense for us to be better people in this world.
You are an amazing person and maybe you just needed to know this a long time ago and many things would be different. But, now we can tell you that you are an amazing guy, an amazing dad, an amazing husband for enduring it all and still think that you can give a little more.
Be strong RD, you are my amazing friend.
And by the way, if life put us in each other's path, the drinking, eating a nice meal, dancing at the moonlight, getting that bike ride to the water. Oh well, it would be probably time to go back home since we have so many kids... kkkkkkk
