Heartbroken and Despondent?

[DifRent]

Hey CaliGuy... you're doing Retrouvaille? I really hope it works for you...

Thanks for your words of wisdom and faith here, too. I know God has plans for our Ws... did you know mine was just baptized this past Easter??? That's what makes this all the more baffling. A year of study and embracing the faith, and then, bam... I need my freedom to explore sex with other people, this one in particular, never loved you anyway, I want to be happy, goodbye.

Went to a Divorce Care group tonight and the topic was anger... so apropos for me after a week of constantly blowing it. I guess in the corner of my room I can have my rage... she really has decided that it's over?? I'm supposed to just accept this? The OW is really her "partner" now, and I'm just an ex? How can this be? Who is she, anyway? How can I just stand off to the side and let this happen???

That's what fuels my anger whenever it emerges. And yet I know it's futile. I know the strategies here are the ones I need to follow. I know that all I can do is put her in God's hands, I control nothing. It's so hard to accept, even as my intellect fully grasps it, even as I know while I'm blowing it that I need to stop.

I have such respect for all the people in this group - those who keep trying and failing, those who've been there and continue to stick around and guide the rest of us, and those who have the strength and will to do the right things and trust in the process... and trust in God. A very special group of people indeed...