Pushing on

[NDY]

Thanks wonka. I'm on my phone right now so once I get home I'll respond properly.

[NDY]

Ok wonka, on a proper computer now. Thanks for sticking by here. My thoughts so far

W,

Thank you for the heads up and I appreciate it. I have given this some serious thought and want to discuss my perspective on this matter.

Ok, this is good. So I'm open to discussion.

As said previously, I do not want a D nor agree that this is in the best interests of S9. There is ample evidence and data shows that a divorce has long lasting impact on the children which will be a huge disruption on S9's life. For this very reason, I am incredibly sad that you have chosen to continue on this path.

This is good. I particularly like the data part. She will know that i've researched this (I said this many times to her in the past but worth mentioning again).

I am sorry that you feel that working with a meditator isn't working for you. It is my preference that we use meditation to resolve issues in an amicable fashion. Given that you've chosen the lawyer route, I have retained a L. Please have your L contact my L. To be clear, the only communication I am willing to have with you is logistics related to S9. Otherwise, please direct all of your communciations through L.

I think this needs work. It contradicts the earlier paragraph about wanting to discuss the matter. It's like saying ok im willing to talk but only via the L.

how about

I am sorry that you feel that working with a meditator isn't working for you. It is my preference that we use meditation to resolve issues in an amicable fashion as the end result will be the same only the L route will cost considerably more.

Then

I am always willing to have with you is logistics and well being of S9.

then finish off with

I will of course be forthcoming with the L's details shortly.

NDY

[Wonka]

NDY,

Why don't you put it all together in one draft post here so it's much easier to read?

One comment about the ending. It is weak and not decisive. Plus it is just more of wanting to have another, separate contact with W which weakens your position. Just end with the L contact info and finish strong.

[NDY]

Thanks wonka

W,

Thank you for the heads up and I appreciate it. I have given this some serious thought and want to discuss my perspective on this matter.

As said previously, I do not want a D nor agree that this is in the best interests of S9. There is ample evidence and data shows that a divorce has long lasting impact on the children which will be a huge disruption on S9's life. For this very reason, I am incredibly sad that you have chosen to continue on this path.

I am sorry that you feel that working with a meditator isn't working for you. It is my preference that we use meditation to resolve issues in an amicable fashion as the end result will be the same only the L route will cost considerably more.

Lawyers details are as follows:

[Wonka]

NDY original response: I think this needs work. It contradicts the earlier paragraph about wanting to discuss the matter. It's like saying ok im willing to talk but only via the L.

how about

I am sorry that you feel that working with a meditator isn't working for you. It is my preference that we use meditation to resolve issues in an amicable fashion as the end result will be the same only the L route will cost considerably more.

The last sentence come across as argumentive and pleading. I'd ditch it. Your W knows it is more costly, but she really doesn't care as she wants a D.

I am always willing to have with you is logistics and well being of S9.

Never put down "always willing" in there because you'll box yourself in with those comments. Ohhhh noooo.

You might want to re-word it as in:

As you would agree, S9's wellbeing is paramount and I will collaborate with you in a cordial fashion when it come to school-related and childcare logistics.

[Drew]

As you would agree...

Presumptuous.

[Wonka]

As you would agree...

Presumptuous.

Fair enough, Drew. Perhaps change to "may agree." What I was aiming for is the sandwich approach here and end it in a somewhat conciliatory note.

[NDY]

How about

W,

Thank you for the heads up and I appreciate it. I have given this some serious thought and want to discuss my perspective on this matter.

As said previously, I do not want a D nor agree that this is in the best interests of S9. There is ample evidence and data shows that a divorce has long lasting impact on the children which will be a huge disruption on S9's life. For this very reason, I am incredibly sad that you have chosen to continue on this path.

I am sorry that you feel that working with a meditator isn't working for you. It is my preference that we use meditation to resolve issues in an amicable fashion and I see this as the best course of action.

I'm sure you would agree, S9's wellbeing is paramount and I will collaborate with you in a cordial fashion when it come to school-related and childcare logistics.
Lawyers details are as follows:

Feels too formal to me though. She'll smell a rat a mile off.

[Bob723]

Hello NDY,

I think Wonka has done another sterling job helping with a message. Drew has helped, as well.

If you feel some of the wrods are words you don't use, for exmaple, paramount, change it to something you would say instead.

But I like the "meat" of it. You are getting excellent advice, my friend.

Good luck!

Bob

[NDY]

Thanks Bob

Just caught up on your thread. Posted there mate.

Yea. It [censored] that we need to communicate like this. But it needs to be done so.....