Hi Sandi2, You bet still here, still attempting to get a grasp on things & rehashing the last 10+ months of my life.
I have to admit that it's taken me a long time to realize that I've been getting walked all over since this whole ordeal started. Not sure how I can be so blind & forgiving with the whole situation. I just find myself hoping that maybe this will be the time that she's telling me the truth, not hiding anything & is really putting in the necessary effort. She told me last week that she's willing to put in the effort & will try anything to make things work. We had a counselling session last Thursday & we were given another recurring homework assignment which we completed for the first time on Sunday night. W followed through with it with no hang-ups or anxiety.
My update from our last weekend together: We went camping again with a group of about 12 friends and for the most part had a great time. I kept myself busy socializing with the group & not dedicating all my time to W as I'd do in the past. W & I had a couple of minor 'spats' over nothing really, just stupid stuff. I would say this is outside the norm for us as we don't usually argue. Then on Saturday night she surprised me by pulling me into our trailer, said "she was just going to go with how she was feeling about things in the moment" & proceeded to take things further than we have in 10+ months...lets call it 2nd base:) We got interrupted by the group that we were camping with, so not sure to what extent she would have allowed things to go & not sure if this is something I should talk to her about or just wait to see if she has another moment? I also must admit that we had been enjoying some adult beverages prior to all this happening, so could very well have been her inhibitions were lowered. I guess time will tell if this was a "drunken" action on her part or if she really was feeling comfortable & in the moment. I had hockey Sunday night & after I left she sent me a couple of sweet "love" notes. I was also suppose to play again on Monday but our game was cancelled, when I mentioned this to W she seemed excited that we'd get to spend some time together. She has also commented a few times that she's looking forward to spending more time together & made a point of locking me down for a date night this Friday.
I am trying to not let the events of the past week/weekend cloud my judgement & continue to work on the "steps". I am getting out and doing more on my own & with other friends, also attempting to put 'me' first.
I still haven't brought up the whole sleeping in the spare room topic, although I know this is something I need to do.
Do you think its a bad idea for me to bring up the events of the past weekend? Do I ask her ask her if it was simply too much wine at dinner that caused her to do what she did?
Also, l haven't read up on "transparency plan" are there any links that anyone could provide?
After all this I'm still struggling with nagging thoughts that there might still be something going on with W and OM. Not sure why!?! I hope this is just paranoia resulting from past experiences and that it will pass with time!
