Hi Cali, that's good timing with your church script. Nice that doing the talk has helped you already and will be helping others.

You know, I think DBing is so much easier in so many ways. You get into your groove after fits & starts, you have a bit of a plan and you feel on a steady course, in charge of your own destiny. Open to possible R, but closed to the day to day chit that comes from your Spouse.

But when you are at your stage, and there is some reconnection happening, those tender parts of you start to get exposed again and you feel much more vulnerable. I can see the urge to just blow it all up before it has a chance to fail or succeed.

However, you have short term plan and that is Retrouvaille, which will likely be a growth experience for you both. And after that who knows?? The good thing is that you do now know that you will be great either way. It's good that you can look back now and see how far you have come.

I hope your talk goes well - based on your wisdom on this forum, I expect it will!

Good luck (((Cali)))

T 13 M 7
Me 48 H 46
SS 15
BD 7.14 PA
D final 5.16 (H filed)

We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus