So sad that I can't even think !!

[RosaLinda]

ugh Cindy, that's awful about your brand new car. Sometime people can be so mean and destructive. So sorry.

Now about your last posts! First, congratulations on your purchase of a kayak! Remember I told you my ex gave away all of his possessions? Well OUR kayak was one of them, it was a family kayak, not just his. I paid for it and kayaking was one of my favorite things to do. That sounds like a great GAL activity for you! Did you notice that there is a new "GAL Gal and more Gal" on the forum?? You should add kayaking! (I am pretty darned proud of myself for embedding that link, hope it works )

And about you feeling like you lost control in yelling at your H and telling him you never wanted to see him again and that you would get him fired, yikes.

....I don't understant why he keeps wanting to help me and being nice to me.....I think he feel obligated sometimes...I hope I didn't screw it up for us one day, I will keep my emotions in check from now on I have too, it not an option.

The DB advice is usually to STFU and validate our WAS's feelings, and to give them space and time to work on themselves and figure this all out.

But believe me, as incredible as it may seem, you did NOT screw anything up for the two of you in the future. Especially if your H is really having a MLC, and it really sounds as if he is, he will not remember half of what you and he said during this time period. My ex remembers very little of things that happened during the past 6 years, and seems to have substituted his own skewed version of the events he does remember. And gets upset and does not believe me when I tell him some of the things he did.

Like Matt said, just dust yourself off and get back on your path. Your H is continuing to help you and being nice to you because he does not want want you, yet at the same time does not want to completely let you go. He does not know what he wants. So your job is to let him go so he can figure it all out.

My H will tell our girls that he is in a relationship this weekend. (Another girl he works with but not the 2 other affairs) I hate that he will break their hearts. I knew that was going to be his next step but still not easy.

Your daughters are young women, in their 20s. They're not little kids, they probably already suspect that your H has been having an affair. A lot of how they react will depend on how you react. Show them how a woman can act with class, honor and dignity in such a situation. But most of all, reassure them that both of you, you and your H, will always love them and that this has nothing to do with them.

My sons are also adults, older than your girls, and they lost a lot of respect for their dad because of his actions over the years. They both also needed reassurance that our breakup had noting to do with "bad stuff" they had done, despite the fact that they were about 25 and 40 at the time. My H is trying to reconnect with them, but gaining back lost respect is a real hard, uphill battle.