Pink's Journey # 3 - Learning to detach

[Sotto]

Hi Pink, she's doing so much better - thanks for asking. I popped in to see her on my way back from work tonight. Got to call up there later for a bit to make sure she's asleep and doesn't get out of bed.

I wanted to post more, but I'm just all busy today!! I think with the confusion about your H. Is that happening because you develop expectations as a result of his behaviour? The most successful DBers I have seen seem to be the ones who observe and then shrug off/let it go. So if their H is super friendly one day. They notice it, and think - Hmm, much more friendly today. Then they think no more of it.

However, if your H is super friendly and you start to think - Wow - is he having second thoughts? He seemed like he loved me last night....well, IMHO this is where the problems arise. Cue rollercoaster and a crash when he does something that seems cold or disinterested. So all if this is about keeping yourself on a steady plane - despite the fact he is friendly one day, lost the next, cold the next and so on. These changes are just a symptom of his confusion and lostness just now.

The other thing I would say is that he may have left you with lots of responsibility. But he has also left you with a lot of love in your home, which he has given up for the time being...

In respect of getting his stuff and it being your birthday week. I think it is fine to calmly respond - no problem to get your things - I have birthday things going on next week, so the following week would be best. If you don't want him coming to the house during your celebrations, just confirm that.

But, it's a cheeseless tunnel to be thinking - how could he do this??? It's my special week!! I can't believe he could be so thoughtless!! All of that stuff just isn't going to get you anywhere. It would be much better if you could smile to yourself and chalk it down as the next thing that happened in your MLC journey.

Now then - onto the important stuff. Do you have some nice birthday plans??