I am willing to work with you on a response that is both validating while stating your postion calmly.
Originally Posted By: Wonka
You would want to focus on the following areas in your response:
-Reiterate that you do not want a D -Emphasize that a D isn't the best interests of S9 -You prefer the mediation route -You are saddened by HER choice to go to the D and L route -Simply confirm thst you've retained a L -Have W's L contact your L
No more discussing separation, D, or splitting up with W. Let your L handle all communications with W.
Wife's Original Email I just wanted to drop you a note out of courtesy and to keep you up to date with what is going on. I met with my Lawyer yesterday and have now instructed [censored]to act on my behalf so that we can try to move forward to agree our separation terms. Unfortunately the mediator sessions didn’t work and I feel that I have no alternative but to move on to the next step.
Can you let me know if you have now instructed your lawyer to act on your behalf or are you still in the process of this?
I am really sorry this is now where we are, but I am still hopeful that we can work through this together as amicably as possible in order to minimise the disruption and impact on S9.
NDY's Draft Response
Hi WW
I'm sorry that we are here too. I still can't believe that not so long ago you were still my lover, my confidant, my best friend, my partner in crime standing shoulder to shoulder taking on the world together. I really thought we would grow old together. I though we would have so many more adventures the 3 of us until S9 grew up and flew the nest. Then it would be just us.
Sure, the last couple of years we've been unlucky in a number of ways. And yes, we did let life get in the way of living and I know I played a LARGE part in our M breaking down but I'f I understood for one minute just how deeply unhappy you really were I would have moved heaven and earth to do something about that. But I never knew how bad it got. We stopped making time for just us.
Remember what your mum said when S9 was just a baby about how we should make time for each other because children grow up? Good advice we forgot to take on board.
And I see our son and I despair at how he will be denied the chance to grow up with us both, and all the opportunities being in a family with both parents supporting him.
These days I miss my friend, my wife. I see or hear something funny and I still want to tell you about it. I want to re connect with you but you took another lover. He's fulfilling a need that should be up to me and me alone.
Suggested Response
W,
Thank you for the heads up and I appreciate it. I have given this some serious thought and want to discuss my perspective on this matter.
As said previously, I do not want a D nor agree that this is in the best interests of S9. There is ample evidence and data shows that a divorce has long lasting impact on the children which will be a huge disruption on S9's life. For this very reason, I am incredibly sad that you have chosen to continue on this path.
I am sorry that you feel that working with a meditator isn't working for you. It is my preference that we use meditation to resolve issues in an amicable fashion. Given that you've chosen the lawyer route, I have retained a L. Please have your L contact my L. To be clear, the only communication I am willing to have with you is logistics related to S9. Otherwise, please direct all of your communciations through L.
Here is the contact information for my L: Gary Grant XXX-5555 youdumbass@crazzee.com
