Well, a couple of folks I know asked me if I wanted to take a rode trip yesterday. So, no movie. I went to another town where I actually used to live and stayed with a girl friend who lives there.
Did beep H and when he called me back let him know that I had left the dog out for the night and that I was at my girlfriend's house. I told him that he might not even care, but I didn't want him to think I was drinking, so figured I would let him know where I was and what I was doing. He asked again if I had gotten a date for treatment yet...told him no, looks like next week is all they can tell me. They aren't going to rush folks out to give me a bed, so it depends on how folks there are progressing in their programs. I once again got off the phone first...he is bewildered by this action on my part and last night just said, yeah, I gotta finish my dinner anyway. LOL No one told him to call in the middle of his dinner. He chose to do that. I just beeped him and said I'm at such and such a number. He called back immediately. So, that was his choice to interrupt his dinner and call me.
Will check on Cathy's sitch.
Thanks for all the messages, it really makes me feel good.
H had a package here when I arrived home today. I beeped him and said "You have a package here. Looks like something for the truck."
That's all that was necessary.
At about 3pm, when he went on his break, H called me to ask about package. We talked for quite a while. We both kind of broke it off at the same time...LOL wondering if we are racing now to figure out just the right moment to end conversations first... I opened his package for him and let him know his siderails for the bed of his pickup were in good shape. Told him I bought him some jelly beans today. He likes jelly beans.
When I was getting off phone told him I had to go because my friend Jan was over doing bible study with me...which was true...and said maybe I will talk to you tonight....he said yeah, ok...I gotta get back to stuff here, too...bye.
All in all it was a good interaction.
Boy oh boy do I miss him.
Funny, but he always seems to call when I am doing bible study with Jan....Thanks God!
I think God is working in my life again because I am working to be a part of God's great family again.
Broke down and beeped H tonight. Was feeling frustrated as treatment center put me off again. Still waiting for bed to open up.
H called back around ten. I apologized for beeping him and he said, I can handle it at night. It's just during the day that I can't when I am at work. I said, I've been good about not calling you or beeping you during the day...and he said, yeah, you have. We talked for a while ...half an hour...mostly good interaction. He mentioned that our new chairs were in and that he was going to pick them up on his way home. I said they probably were beautiful. I told him I had once thought about selling our home and moving into something smaller so he would not be stressed financially. He said I'm not stressed. I mentioned my sister having problems and told him about solution based therapy. Said, don't you think that would be more appealing to a guy? He said Yeah. I said it's what I wanted us to do, but we were too busy fighting. He didn't say anything. Still, maybe I planted a seed?
Gotta get to bed now. It's almost eleven here. Hugs, Akgal
Quote: MANDATORY DO'S WHEN DIVORCE BUSTING 1. Be patient. Time is an assest even when it seems to be killing you. 2. Listen carefully to what your spouse is REALLY saying to you. 3. Learn quickly that anger is your enemy 4. Learn quickly to backoff, shut up and walk away when you want to speak out. 5. Take care of yourself. Exercise, sleep, laugh, and focus on all the other chances in your life that are not in turmoil. 6. Be cool, strong, confident and speak softly. 7. Know that if you can do a 180, your smallest consistent actions will be noticed much more than ANY words you can say or write. 8. Read as much as you can on this subject
MANDATORY DON'T's WHEN DIVORCE BUSTING 1. Do not be openly desperate or needy even when you are hurting more then ever in your whole life and are desperate and needy. 2. Do not focus on your self when communicating with your spouse. 3. Do not believe any of what you hear and less then 50% of what you see. Your spouse will speak in absolute neagatives because they are hurting and they are scared. 4. Do not fall into the "green eggs and ham" trap. (see Dr. Suess for clarity) 5. Do not give up no matter how dark it is or how bad you feel. 6. Do not backslide from your hard earned changes.
Last night I was ready to give up. I am so tired of just waiting to get into treatment and being put off everyday with a maybe tomorrow, maybe in a few days, or now a maybe next week a bed will open up.
I need to be patient. I need to REALLY listen to H. I need to be cool, strong, confident, and yet, speak softly. I know that anger is my enemy. I need to backoff, shut up and walk away when I want to speak out. Am getting better at this. I need to continue to take care of myself. Exercise, sleep, laugh, and focus on all the other chances in my life that are not in turmoil. I need to not call during the day and limit calls at night. I need to keep reading.
Today I have decided to do some work around the house...spring cleaning. I will also go to town with a girlfriend.
...thank you...Cathy 