Tonight was horrible guys, every time I think I'm doing good and making strides for myself, something happens that just knocks me down. I know what sandi has said in here and I believe her, it's just seeing my wife me so cruel astonishes me.
Angels, are you familiar with The Stockdale Paradox? You can either Google it, or find a link to it in Cadet's "Work" thread. I have found that either the Stockdale Paradox or the famous "You're already dead" scene from Band of Brothers are the best mindsets for successful DBing. They balance action and hopefulness with a simultaneous confrontation of your current brutal reality.
