Ok... So I guess they are all tests. I failed, so my question then on something like dinner, should I say, "you made plans, come home!" And stand my ground? Or should I just act like I don't care thus enabling her? I guess I wasn't sure what to do here in this case...
No, you don't say "come home" -- that's pursuing! You leave the table neatly set for 2, put the food away, and then go out for about 4 hours and don't tell her where you went. Don't answer her texts or phone calls while you're out. When you come home (not too late -- like 11ish) and she asks, say "Out to grab a bite and then meet some friends. I would appreciate it if you're not going to be here for dinner next time, that you let me know so I can plan accordingly and not waste the food. Thanks." Not pleading, not scolding -- just civil but businesslike.
