Really Random Ramblings

[tadpole1025]

Thanks Lou and Toots.

I'm still getting over the loss of my little rat. I miss her so much. Yesterday, was a little rough because it was the first day back to work after my weekend and since she died. Usually when I would get home from work, her cage would be my first stop after getting home just to check on her and tell her good morning. Now, her cage is empty. I still have her cage because I haven't decided if I want to get anymore or not. I really want to, but it makes me so sad when they get old or sick. I'm going to think about it for a few days. I really want to get a small dog because they live longer, but I don't have the room for one right now. I kind of want to wait until I get my own place and I have no idea when that will be.

I took her to get cremated and should have her remains back next week. I'll put them on my nightstand next to her sister.

I started training this week for a promotion. They want to make me a team leader and troubleshooter. Of course when that happens, that will come with another raise. I've already had two raises and have only been here 11 months. I really like this company a lot. It is a major satellite tv company and they treat me really well.

I'm starting to have slight feelings for my friend here at work, but I don't think she feels the same. We still have amazing conversations and she goes out of her way to talk to me. Others have noticed it too. She's really cool.

I had a very interesting conversation with S20 the other night. He initiated it. He really opened up about a few things. He told me that XW rarely contacts him and his brothers nowadays. Just a few months ago, she would contact them everyday. Yesterday marks 2 years since she married OM. It didn't even bother me though. He also told me that he feels sorry for her and he thinks that she doesn't even care about S22's band. He thinks she just goes to his shows so she doesn't look bad. He seems to be starting to realize a few things.

It is supposed to be 110 here in Phoenix this week. I plan on hitting the pool this weekend.

I am doing better as far as XW. I think I'm doing A LOT better. I still think about her, but it really doesn't hurt when I do. Maybe I'm becoming indifferent.

I'm a little better as far as my rattie goes, but I sure do miss the little girl. I spent so much time with her. I actually think she waited on me to get her out of her cage before she died. She died while sitting on my chest and turned to look at me when she passed. The funny thing is, a few minutes after she passed, I stepped outside to cry a little and have a cigarette. I was standing on my porch when a bird landed on the grass about 5-6 feet in front of me. It looked right at me and started chirping really loud and spreading and flapping it's wings like it was trying to tell me something for about 30 seconds or so and then it just flew away. It was almost like it was telling me she was ok. Not sure if I believe that, but it was odd and I'll never forget it.

Anyways, just wanted to update.