Well, fell off my reserve not to call and onto my butt last night. Beeped H twice after trying to call him in his room after 9 and him not being there.

The result? H called but with a 'tude. Said I was not in my room so I couldn't call you back right away.
I did NOT ask where he was.
We talked briefly after I told him if he was going to have an attitude we could just get off the phone right then and there. (sticking up for me is a 180)
I told him I might be here when he got back from work...but would try to find someplace else to stay for a few days until treatment...so he could have the house.
He said we could cross that bridge when we came to it.
I told him I was tired and that I needed to get off the phone and get some sleep. He sounded a bit confused as he said, well ok. I said have a good evening and he said I'm just going to bed...I said me too, goodnight.


There are women up where he works and visions of him and an OW danced in my head.
The mystery of Amy and the cell phone calls I got here have never been answered. There was an Amy at the Christmas party, who does work up there with him.


I could post her phone number here for anyone who wanted to call her...but that would be wrong. I could just write this is the number that came up on my caller id....
()& @@#-@@%( but that would be wrong.

She came over to our table drinking shots of tequilla and wishing everyone a Merry Christmas. Didn't think much of it at the time, she was drunk.

Guess I have to put it out of my head. It's 8 am here and am going to breakfast with a friend at 10. We will probably goof off in town.

I need to buy a few things to take to treatment with me.
I need to get the focus back on me today.
I have writer's group this afternoon.

Here's a poem I had published for St. Patrick's Day a few years ago....
People were wearing buttons that said "St. Patrick is Polish." I am Irish, so here's what I wrote.

St. Patrick is Polish
by C M F W

St. Patrick is Polish
states the new rumor
formed by someone
with an odd sense of humor.
This odd humored fellow
just lately has said
instead of green
St. Patrick wore red!
Has St. Pat lost his brogue and developed an accent?
From Irish folklore will he soon be absent?
The stealing of Ireland's hero,
Tis a real shame,
and somehow there's no way
We'll get used to the name:
St. Paderewski!

A little late, but I hope it brings a smile to a face or two here on the bb....

I am focusing on me today.
I expect nothing from H.

I really do need to take things one day at a time.

Hugs, and prayers,
Akgal

St. Rita continues to work miracles in my life.
I am stronger and happier today than I have been in a long time. No, I am not feeling great, YET...but I am feeling better than I have been in a long time.

I am responsible for my own happiness.