Hurt, I just read through your thread. I second separating any financial means she can run up debt through. Your L should be able to advice you how. Basically take her off any joint credit cards and similar.
I have to comment on the illness. How is a person with illness supposed to get better, living alone as a single mother? That's completely ridiculous.
And - you say her hormone levels and her thyroid levels are off - but that the doctors can't find anything wrong. As a long-time thyroid disease sufferer: Thyroid disease is something very wrong! This illness is SO under-estimated by the mainstream medical community. Thyroid hormones influence every single cell in the body, and can cause a multitude of serious symptoms, including death. Both hypo- and hyperthyroidism can kill you if you don't treat it.
Her cortisol levels are high? Means she is really stressed, her adrenals are working overtime. That will make her angry and exhausted. With the other hormones being off, she may feel like she is mentally drowning. She may have anxiety, depression, brain fog, anger/rage, sleep problems, in addition to lots and lots of physical symptoms, and mood swings like a rollercoaster. Your presence may simply feel overwhelming to her. She may not have the emotional stamina to deal with the guilt.
No, it doesn't mean she can excuse lies and deceit and affairs, like Sandi said - but it is not unusual that people with thyroid disease first get diagnosed in a mental hospital. It needs to be addressed. Has she seen an endocrinologist or experienced OB-GYN?
M 16 yrs, WH62, P54 3 adult blended kids EA 11/13, BD1 6/14 PA fall 14, BD2 2/15 Piecing 2015, BD3 12/15 Separated 4/16 WH moved OW in 5/16 Divorced 6/15/17
