That lady singing - is she fat?

[Pyrite]

#3 doesn't mean much to me really. She IS surrounding herself with people that agree with her #3. On the other hand, I actively argue to others that this doesn't make her a bad person, and her bad behaviour can be explained, blah, blah.

Just saying - Denying that certain people have committed certain actions in the name of compassion does not make it true that those actions were not committed. It is just denial. She IS having PA. She is in love with OM. This does hurt.

If you want to pass +ve judgement, then that implies you are capable of recognising what is NOT +ve, and even what is downright -ve. So is there good behaviour and bad? I know she is not here, I am, and I recognise my bad behaviour. Not that I did, but explain to me how being able to recognise her bad behaviour means I am baulking responsibility for my own.

Am I judging her. Of course I am. We all judge. What are the criteria you have imposed on your future spouse again? If we didn't judge others, then any girl would do right, because they are all the same, we are not judgemental to the point of not discerning. Or do we only judge +ves in people, only see them and celebrate them, but ignore the -ves and deny them. Attribute the +ves to the persons character, but the -ves just to reaction to our bad behaviour.

They are not here. They might not be pursuing personal growth. But they are responsible and accountable for their actions just as we are. Acknowledging their poor behaviour does not make us self-righteous, judgemental, arrogant people. It is just reality. Its all about lines again. I gather your criticism is saying that I am being judgemental follows from - "you did X therefore you are Y (a bad person)".

So what is Y / a bad person? How many times or how bad does X have to be before Y is true, or can be said.

Are your answers the same as mine? Or a or b or c? Who is right? There is none. But there is a mode, or a generalization that can be drawn.