Okay, I am looking for ways to cheer myself up if things get really hard in treatment...so am challenging lurkers here to post a message....what the heck...give it a shot and post!
I'll print out your posts and take them with me to treatment.
The lurker challenge is in the post above this one.
My address at treatment, if anyone wants to drop me a note and fill me in on bb events....
Colleen Alaskan Gal Williams C/O Serenity House 250 Hospital Place Soldotna, Alaska 99669
I should be leaving in the next few days. Will know this afternoon, if I get to go tomorrow. If not tomorrow, then sometime the beginning of next week.
Will be posting until I leave.
Last night, I beeped H as I had gotten a bill for medications that I thought he had paid. He pays these.
It was for almost 300 dollars! I thought he was having meds billed to credit card and paying them monthly. This bill was for six months.
I asked that he call back in the evening to discuss the bill. He hadn't called by around 8, so I figured he wasn't going to call. I took a sleeping pill and fell asleep. At 8:40, he called. I was already sleeping and was not very coherent. Don't remember much of call...think he was not too nice, but not sure.
Beeped him this morning and let him know that I sent an email about the bill and was sorry that I was unable to discuss it with him last night. Told him to contact me about it at his convenience.
Now, am not going to do anything else. It's his move. I imagine he will call tonight as he wants to know when I am going into treatment.
I do remember him asking me that last night. "Do you have a date yet?" That is a clear memory of conversation. That's all that is clear though...I was pretty groggy.
Went into town and got my hair done today. Did it just to do something nice for myself. Feels good.
Didn't get a lot cut off...just had the back picked up and had it shaped into a textured medium length bob. The gals told me I looked great and raved about my auburn hair color...it's all me...no bottle red for this gal.
It's St.Patrick's Day so a happy one to all! No green beer for me this year. Oh, well.
Am having some friends over for dinner. Should be fun.
H called while I was gone. Am not gonna call him back or beep him to let him know I'm home. He can call again if he wants.
Been up since quarter to five this morning. Think I'll probably be in bed early tonight.
Erin go bragh! That's "Ireland forever" in Gaelic.
Well, fell off my reserve not to call and onto my butt last night. Beeped H twice after trying to call him in his room after 9 and him not being there.
The result? H called but with a 'tude. Said I was not in my room so I couldn't call you back right away. I did NOT ask where he was. We talked briefly after I told him if he was going to have an attitude we could just get off the phone right then and there. (sticking up for me is a 180) I told him I might be here when he got back from work...but would try to find someplace else to stay for a few days until treatment...so he could have the house. He said we could cross that bridge when we came to it. I told him I was tired and that I needed to get off the phone and get some sleep. He sounded a bit confused as he said, well ok. I said have a good evening and he said I'm just going to bed...I said me too, goodnight.
There are women up where he works and visions of him and an OW danced in my head. The mystery of Amy and the cell phone calls I got here have never been answered. There was an Amy at the Christmas party, who does work up there with him.
I could post her phone number here for anyone who wanted to call her...but that would be wrong. I could just write this is the number that came up on my caller id.... ()& @@#-@@%( but that would be wrong.
She came over to our table drinking shots of tequilla and wishing everyone a Merry Christmas. Didn't think much of it at the time, she was drunk.
Guess I have to put it out of my head. It's 8 am here and am going to breakfast with a friend at 10. We will probably goof off in town.
I need to buy a few things to take to treatment with me. I need to get the focus back on me today. I have writer's group this afternoon.
Here's a poem I had published for St. Patrick's Day a few years ago.... People were wearing buttons that said "St. Patrick is Polish." I am Irish, so here's what I wrote.
St. Patrick is Polish by C M F W
St. Patrick is Polish states the new rumor formed by someone with an odd sense of humor. This odd humored fellow just lately has said instead of green St. Patrick wore red! Has St. Pat lost his brogue and developed an accent? From Irish folklore will he soon be absent? The stealing of Ireland's hero, Tis a real shame, and somehow there's no way We'll get used to the name: St. Paderewski!
A little late, but I hope it brings a smile to a face or two here on the bb....
I am focusing on me today. I expect nothing from H.
I really do need to take things one day at a time.
Hugs, and prayers, Akgal
St. Rita continues to work miracles in my life. I am stronger and happier today than I have been in a long time. No, I am not feeling great, YET...but I am feeling better than I have been in a long time.
I'll print out your posts and take them with me to treatment. 
I could just write this is the number that came up on my caller id....