Cali - I am keeping up with your posts and watching how you are dealing with all of these changes that are happening in your life. I don't comment often as I am not in a position to offer advice - however I do want to offer my support to you.
What interests me is the way you seem to be able to remain detached and carry on with your life as usual whilst still allowing your w to spin gently in the corner sorting herself out. This is something I am having to learn to do myself and I find it really difficult to not jump ahead at times and let my imagination of the "could be" take centre stage in my head.
My observation though is that your barrier is well and truly still up - a totally natural instinct - do you feel that it is beginning to lower? What will it take from your w to convince you she is committed to you and only you and that she is committed to making your m work?
I definitely need a few of your smoothies, its an area I am particularly useless in, I am a naturally chatty person and now being more independent and head strong I tend to fight my corner - something my h has noticed in our latest conversations lol. This is who I am now, like it or leave me alone kinda thing .... Like I say, I need a few smoothies, cocktails or some duct tape
Good luck for retrouvaille, I hope you both get something out of it, its not something we have in my country so a bit of an alien concept to me! If it helps you communicate better with each other in whatever capacity - friends, lovers, parents, then its got to be a good thing right?
