Thank you RD and Toots. I've said this before, but it seems like H is going to make a good X. At the moment, we seem to be operating in a comfortable place, taking care of kids and house together. It won't last forever. But it's nice to have that for however long it lasts.
I have been pondering the abuse thread. Let me be clear, I would not ever classify my situation as abuse. Still, there are elements that existed in my M, things that make me uncomfortable to read. It's been so eye opening to realize that not all M are like that. Had my H not walked, I'd be married still. And I'd have never realized that someone could treat me nicely.
I also ponder the idea that I read here fairly frequently, that H was in pain and didn't have the tools to deal with it effectively, choosing an affair over actually talking to me. I am much more willing to accept that idea now that I was previously. I don't know if it's true, but it does allow me to forgive more easily.
All in all, I am starting to feel like I've been set free.
