I really appreciate your help during this hell mess in my life.
H just text me: " Good Afternoon Cira. I would like to speak with you about a few things, sometime this week when you are available, like getting my last things out of the house and some other things."
If this is the same person that shared life with me during 18 years, I would say that he hates me with all his heart and soul.
My birthday is on Wednesday- June 17th, and this is the week that he chose to talk about taking stuff from the house and God knows what else.
I can't deny anymore that H is trying his best to instigate my anger, to hurt me pretty bad and see me on the floor. I can't just believe that someone does this by coincidence.
I understand I am not suppose to ready, understand or translate anything that H does. But the knife on my chest is hard to miss and he wants to make sure I know he does not remember or does not care at all for my birthday.
How can someone become so mean and so cruel, is his hate so, so big that he needs to do this?
I am letting him go, I do not bother him for anything. In his eyes I am moving forward with my life and do not even care of what he is doing with his. So, why in hell is he doing this.
I could say that it's all in my imagination, but it is not. There are so many things that happens that is just to make me unhappy, the red flags are everywhere and I can't just ignore them.
People say that love and hate walking beside each other, and I am starting believing in it. I loved this man with all my heart, I did very good things and bad things during our M. I could have been a better wife.
But he is hurting me too much now. And maybe my old ways of defending myself are not so wrong at this moment. My self defense will be to send him to hell and be done with it.
I am detaching more and more. I do not have anything to do with this monster anymore. His venom is licking out of his mouth and into anything he does or say to me. I will be far away from him.
I do not know how to answer his text. Right now I extremely mad with him, I will wait. What you guys think... do I say I am not available this week, and set a date next week? Or I just say text me. Or I can even say, talk to my lawyer if it is urgent or we can talk next week.
I really don't know and could use some advice here. The best is not being enemies because we have kids together. But I just feel it would be just so easy to finish it all now. I am so tired and annoyed with all this.
H wants some available time when I need to make some more time for all the things I need to do, including setting up IC for the S17 and S15 again. Ahg... would be so much easier to be a widow, and I would be set financially.
Sorry for so much anger, but my hear is boiling right now.
