Fogg, SadDood, and lost, thanks for your thoughtful comments. SD, your friend's sitch does sound a lot like mine. Hopefully he is hearing about DB earlier in the game than we did. I have been off the grid because my mother is quite Ill. She had surgery today (doing OK thank G-d, but not out of the woods). These events in our life really force us to focus, don't they? I am doing pretty well, considering. Since I gave W my ultimatum, I have not seen any changes, and I don't expect to. Frankly, I am look not looking for changes any more. I am not interested in being with her anymore. I have decided to devote my energies to minimizing the fallout of the D for me and my children. I think the quicker we D the better. This is not a healthy environment for the kids. Prominent members of my community have approached me to show support. The whole community knows about the A - my W is not discreet enough and has been spotted by many - and it is only a matter of time before it gets back to my kids. I still trigger every now and then. But I just focus on a time when I am no longer living with W and when I have found someone else - even though this will be awhile. I will be okay. Hope all my DBer friends are hanging in there on their own journeys.
