Thanks for the responses guys/girls. Matt, i get what you are saying now and the difference, thanks for clearning that...
Sandi, i just kissed her back. Nothing more, nothing less. I think she is testing me at the moment, this weekend had a couple things where she was asking if she could do A or B. Im not sure she has ended the A and like you said, i think i was dreaming to hope it was that easy... i think now she is just trying to bury it further underground...
This weekend wasn't terrible, but she was away most of the time, leading me to think she isn't really ready to fix anything. While she did have prior engaugements to do, i think she was spending too much time so she was prolly on the phone talking before/after said events and hiding it. She worked all day Sat which she hates, so i think she just wanted to get away (stayed all day and got herself dinner, which was very weird to not just come home after, so im assuming she called OM because she freaked when i calmly asked her about it, not accusing, i just asked, "any reason you didnt want to eat dinner here? Ive never seen you go to that place, i thought we had plans for em to grill so i waited?"
Sunday, she went to funtown park with the PF, and as usual picked the PF over me and again canceled dinner plans with me to spend more time with the PF. At first she asked if i minded, and i said, i thought you would come home since you have been gone all weekend bascially and we again had dinner plans already. She goes, well i spend all week with you and PF wants to have din with me, so do you mind and shes my friend. I canved thinking of how to DB this, and just said "OK, do what you want, ill make my self dinner." I then decided to leave and go get myself dinner, walk my dog and get an ice cream to cheer msyelf up and relaxing. I made sure i wasn't home when she did get back, leading her to ask 50 questions like "where are you", why are you not home, you knew i was coming back"... i just replied, i wanted to get dinner and you werent here so i went. I passed DQ and decided to get an ice cream, is that Ok?" She just said OK.
Once i got home, she acted ok, told me the hallway i had finished looked good (the project i have been keeping myself busy with). I didn't say much to here, she mostly talk about how fun funtown was (conviently said nothing about the dinner). Then we got ready for bed, same as always... we did get intimate, but it was the same as before leading me to think the A is still going on unless greif from the loss takes a while which i have read on here as a possibility? What i mean, she just layed there not into it, and it was again akward for me since there was no real feeling. i actually wondered why i did that to myself again and didnt hold off on intamacy. No kissing during more then a quick normal kiss, and would kind of turn her head away enough for me to noticed and do something else to atleats entertain myself, lol... it was that or stop.
I will reply more later but wanted to let you know about what happeend this weekend incase you can read into to more then i can. i was hoping for a change, but being put second again made me remember its still bad, and i need to continue to apply the DB and not be fooled by the kindness i mentioned earlier in the week which i thought was a good thing.
