I think that I have had a hard time allowing him to love me in the past. I now really want him to love me, but he's not ready for that. He's been hurt and doesn't trust me. I have a lot of work to do to earn his respect and trust again. I don't know if he is even willing to let me try and earn it. We have not spoken about the D situation since I emailed him a list of my wants. He was not happy and made a comment to the effect of "all I will end up with is a house, house payments, and a chair." Since that day, after he found out the house did not appraise as high as he wanted, he has not spoken about the D. He has not indicated in any way that he wants to work on things, at least not out right verbally.
I guess when I go to treatment, I will call him at least once. If he is nice, then I will call again. If he is not nice, then I will protect myself and my peace of mind and not call him for the remainder of my treatment. He does not want to be involved in my treatment in any way. He has made that clear to me.
So, there we have it. That's my decision folks, what do you all think?
Dazed, thanks for your input and kind words. It's so nice to know there are folks that do really care about me...even if they are folks I may never meet face to face.
