Sigh... Not in the greatest of moods now regarding mediation. It has dawned on me that the financial part is not going to be easy and we're set to start it on Friday.
The problem is that there are two ways of looking at our financial situation. The first is to look at our salaries and savings. I come out on top. The second is to look at the larger situation and she comes out on top. Her family is well-off, as in a few million dollars. They live an upper middle class lifestyle, drive a fancy car, go on 3-week trips with private guides, etc. Of course, WW is the beneficiary of this. They paid her entire studies (no debt), they give her thousands of dollars every year to subsidize her lifestyle, be in it cash, gifts or plane tickets. Most importantly, their wealth is her retirement money. My parents are lower middle class and will be an expense for me in their old age, if anything.
I guess I would be scrwed if it were just like this, as only our income and assets count, not that of our family. But WW always signed papers sent by her dad every year. She must be, and I don't have the details, the co-owner of many assets in her home country. So this "larger picture" is actually part of her income and assets as well.
Of course, I want the whole picture on the table. Now, this honesty is not going to play well with WW and her family. I'm not sure what is the reason for these assets to be in her name, but I bet it wasn't to share them with me (yes, some were acquired after the wedding). I'm also concerned that it will force my in-laws to open their books and I don't think they'll like it.
I realize this is still theoretical and that Friday will really reveal her approach to financial disclosure. So I'll try to prepare just my side of things. But I will call a lawyer after all, which I thought I'd keep for the final stages, and see how I can prepare to make sure WW gives the full picture.
I'm going to pay whatever I have to of course, but I don't like the idea of giving money to someone who's much richer than I am, who has a partner to share household expenses, who already lives beyond her means, who skims on some small expenses related to the kids, all of this in return for cheating on me twice, leaving me and taking away half my kids without even discussing. Don't blame me.
In general, I feel anger rising in me. I'm still sad and cry a few times a week. But the negative dynamics in our couple, the things that didn't work between us, they are coming back to the surface. The unfairness of it all is a lot to bear. I keep my mouth shut, but I can tell it's barely an inch below the surface. The ice is thin.
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Cadet | Thanks Cadet. I already have such a system, but I'm talking about updating the content. For each new success story, I have to read through to find the correct link, insert the HTML code, adjust the colors across the post, etc. Ideally, I would check that the existing links are still up-to-date. Hopefully this time will be shorter.
M39 D6 D3 (at S) S 2014-09 D 2016-09
"You can't start a fire sitting around, crying over a broken heart" - Bruce Springsteen.
