Ahhh,,,,, this is so hard - kids did not want to go to summer camp this morning, I had to really talk them into it. They had 4 days with me solo time so I think that threw them a bit. Anyway, after many tears, I was able to leave them at summer camp and then go into work. The summer camp is only for the day.
This feels impossible solo, but I am hoping that these feelings will go away like a cloud, that is what I was supposed to do anyway, let them come, allow myself to feel them and let them pass over.
Now I am scrambling to find a camp that is more suitable to their needs or at least give them some control over what they would like to do. I will try my best to make it happen. They have gone to the same summer camp since they started summer camps and now all of a sudden they don't want to go back. Hmm... I will review with them tonight. I wanted them both at the same camp just for logistics reasons but that may not happen.
Just feeling like nothing I do is good enough or right. I have read that these are normal feelings but still they are tough. I will focus on work today - again, much gratitude for a career that allows me to do what I love and gives me some flexibility with my kids schedules. I am very very lucky in that regard.
I need to count my blessings more.
Thank you Lord for the gift of the day, my kids, my career, my friends, and the opportunity to live fully for this day.
