hold on! - 10

[u-turn]

Finishing from earlier - Did I ever mention that I don't like weekends and Monday's are just a recovery from the weekend - well that's how it is.

It's the time here together and seeing her that bonks me on the head every weekend. It's her nonchalant attitude and her way of having the kids believe her that makes me feel like an outsider/stranger around here. That may seem like normalizing things for the kids - but it sure seems manipulative to me and it is nothing the kids can count on.

But anyway, I do not think I want to consider my situation as abuse (do I feel abused sometimes? - yes). But I do not want to "take away" from someone that has true dangerous physical/emotional abuse happening to them by saying - me too. I don't know if that makes any sense at all.

Also, I have gone through many ideas of what is wrong with my life and situation: I was a shty husband, lover, father and there is a list of things that I need to improve (not the really the case), W with MLC (I don't know - maybe), WW is just out of control (maybe), now with the abuse topic, I can say this may be the case, but really what is the difference for me?

Is having an A emotional torture and abuse for the LBS even if it is not flaunted? well then yes - we are all abused in some way. Should I have just been stronger about it and ended my marriage a long time ago to end the abuse for myself? maybe/probably.