Hi Hope, I'm sorry to hear you are having a rough day. Deep breaths and calm, honest answers - you'll get through this.
"Does the WAS tend to be clueless how much this has hurt the LBS and understand how I don't want to hear about her new house?"
Yes and no would be my answer to your question above. I think a number of things go on for WAS:
Justification - Oh, LBS was so awful, I just had to do this.. Compartmentalisation - Oh, the kids aren't really affected by that. Denial - Of the wrongness of deciding to cheat rather than being brave enough to resist and try and work on the M. Minimisation - Oh, LBS won't be that upset about my A. It will probably improve the M.
It doesn't really suit the WAS to face the hurt they have caused. If they face it, this will be a dent in the shiny new car on the greener grass. The WAS likes to believe that it will all be cotton candy and popsicles. So, your W may have convinced herself - Oh AP is so great, the kids will love him and he and H will get along just great and so on. Of course reality can often be rather different to that.
I sometimes see posts where the AP has contacted the LBS, and the WAS has said - it's so great you guys are in touch....but the LBS is fuming about it, you know?
Hang on in there hope - you're doing great
Last edited by Toots; 06/14/1507:50 PM.
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
