You do what's best for you, I guess. I would just think you'd want to show that you don't need her vs trying to punish/guilt her.
I can't begin to understand how this is all possible. But it is. And it's happening. So put one foot in front of the other. Try not to worry about R. Worry about putting one foot in front of the other. By the time it comes time to R, you'll both be totally different people anyway.
