I suspect thing got really difficult for my dad when xh left, which was right after my mom was battleing breast cancer. My dad and xh were very close. My dad was xh's father figure. My father was closer to xh then he was with my brothers!
They haven't spoken since Thanksgiving 2013. I know my dad tried to reach out to him a few times that winter. He was ignored. (I didn't know that until months later.)
My father is no longer working at his job. He still writes, but that is out of his home. He does woodwork jobs out of the home too.
But, I think he may suffer from some depression. I don't know. He's an old-school guy. He's a great guy.
Also, he is in a small country club to golf. I think there is a lot of drinking that goes on there, and he is around it a lot when golfing. It really the only social thing he does, out side of that, he pretty much stays in his barn doing things.
So, I don't know that it is something specific, or a culmination of things. I think there was a little dabbling going on around bd time. I think he may have pulled back, but now...
It's out of my hands. I don't even know if he is still drinking at this point, but he gets in moods where you don't know what's going on. So, I will just stay clear of that for now.
Anyway... yeah, xh will have to work around d14's sched. I think she looks for things to avoid seeing him, honestly. And... there's a lot of things "he doesn't get"!
Last summer the kids barley saw him, so this is nothing new. My kids were 12 & 16 when this all started. I think he still thinks they are the same age. He has missed soooo much. He has no idea what s18 is even doing next year. He does not know what activities they are in. He has no idea. He has missed a huge gap of their childhood. For what? It's pathetic.
He can blame me all he wants for his issues. It's not going to make his issues any better. He's so clueless. And as long as he has someone confirming to him that it is me... it will never change. She doesn't care. She does not want my kids around. She has never made any effort at all. Nothing. Hasn't even seen d14, and s18 once for a second. She bad mouths my kids, and she does not know them. Said, "They will be fine." and left it at that. The line to xh, "Don't let them ruin what we have here." When he was sad about the distance in his r with his kids. Nice.
And... yup... its my fault.
Why did I even go there today? Well, at least its with much less emotion. I'm still good.
