Another day begins with me and the kids getting up first with W appearing 45 minutes later. W hasn't said a word to me at all today. I've noticed she is continually biting her nails.
A grey overcast day, so not much to get on with. W mentioned she wanted furniture moving yesterday, so I guess she'll pounce on me with that soon.
I know it's not three calendar months, but in week terms it is. What do I notice? W is up and down most days, sometimes with conversation, sometimes not. She is resolute that she doesn't want any kind of R and keeps telling me that. Communication, other than financials/about kids can be virually zero. W's sister has become her most valued contact and her mobile phone is virtually attached to her leg. I have three children (OK, one is an adult) that are in various stages of panic/fear about the future.
Me? Well, I though the needy stage had passed, but after the counselling session went pear shaped last week, I let myself down. It was about my kids and there appears to be some concessions available from W. Still worried about how all this will pan out. Of course, I hope she'll see sense, but she has arranged for the house to be put on the market next week, so that is when reality will hit in. As W hasn't made any concrete plans for her housing post split, I don't know how this is going to work.
Another day, same old problems!
I've been reading through your threads along with your postings, but I've never really been sure what to add to them. In reading through this executive summary, I'm concerned that 3 months in, you are still way too focused on the W and trying to FIX your marriage.
where is the information on the work you've been doing on HUDDY? It's been 3 months. What kind of 180s are you doing? What kind of GAL activities? I get that you're dping a lot of work to spend time with the kids, but that can't be everything.
Honestly, it feels like you've been doing this awkward cat and mouse dance game with the W for 12 weeks. I know it's hard with the in-house divide, but I think you HAVE to stop dancing. Don't give her the chance to tell you "several times" she doesn't want to R. Every time you have that conversation, it reinforces her thoughts!
In my opinion, go back to stage 1. Start over with a beginners mind. Actually start detaching. Focus on YOU. Be consistent in your actions. Stop trying to control the situation; control the thing you can: YOU.
