Hello my lovely...I'm sorry you've been having a tough time of it sweetheart. IMHO, loving detachment is the best thing to aim for here. I think your NO text and not responding to the update on his Dad are reactive (angry?) responses. I don't sense that you are completely done, but that you may benefit from greater detachment...

I'm sorry for your S - that's hard. And your H relationship with his kids is his to own. Might it be an option to say to S that dad is working through some hard things of his own right now. Whilst that may feel like he isn't offering you much ATM, that's more about him than about you. And it will likely pass...

Keep reading the guidance on detachment - you're not aiming for cold & cutting him off, you 're aiming to lovingly recognise he is on his own difficult path just now & has little good to offer you. Therefore, your own happiness cannot be bound to him.

I'm trying to work on forgiveness. One thing I realise is that H did what he did because he was in pain and didn't have the tools to do otherwise....

Take care lovely P xx

Last edited by Toots; 06/14/15 11:41 AM.
T 13 M 7
Me 48 H 46
SS 15
BD 7.14 PA
D final 5.16 (H filed)

We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus