Tad, I'm so sorry for your losses. I just read Man's search for meaning by Frankl. A holocaust survivor, he said that we may still find meaning in life when faced with a hopeless situation. When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves. It sounds as though you need to find new meaning in your life.

From your post above, you are focusing on all the losses in your life, of which there have been many and my heart goes out to you. I suffered many losses after BD. Husband, house, stepson, job, pets, way of life. But we are where we are. And there are new joys and meaning to be found in life.

Perhaps you could start making baby steps forward towards this? Are there some mini goals that may start to move in that direction? Keep posting Tad. Things may seem dark right now, but they truly will get better.

((((Tad))))

T 13 M 7
Me 48 H 46
SS 15
BD 7.14 PA
D final 5.16 (H filed)

We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus