First post. Desperate for advice.

[Last]

Start by detaching. Start by getting your own life. Start by identifying 180s and implementing them. Start by working on YOU. Don't worry about rebuilding right now.

Hi Last,

I'm very sorry to hear what you are going through. Ouch!

I love Matt's advice, especially what I quoted above. I hope you will follow his advice. It is so important, and yes, hard to do.


You CAN do this.

Bob

I realize that the relationship we had died the day I made my discovery. Actually the case could be made that our marriage had died years before.

Yes I am working to detach. I have made some progress. We are trying an in-house separation because of the children. I am doing my best to make myself scarce and to follow the rules.

I can see glimmers. She still cares. She is grieving the loss of her husband. I want so much to hold her and tell her that it will all be ok, but I cannot. I know she wants me to, and I know she knows why I cannot.

I am reading and doing the work in the DR book. I am finding the 180s. Working out. Not clinging. Not checking up.

We will survive. My family will survive. I have hope.