She is very manipulative in her language, and I think you could point that out. It's concerning to me if she's talking to S9 about 'sleepovers', because that's playing mind games with him, making him uncertain about the security of him living in his own home. I'd suggest counseling to agree on ways to handle this so S9 is not put in the middle or used as a weapon.

She may have to tell herself something bad about you in order to justify her actions. It reminds me of H's complaints and tales of how our M was doomed from the beginning and we've never been happy...

I think you can say right out to her that in light of her effort to falsely accuse you of being abusive, you are very hesitant to meet with her, and will only do so after you have consulted with your lawyer and found a proper way to protect yourself while still making sure S9's interests are taken care of. She can expect you to only meet in a public place and perhaps with a witness present.

If she's coming to the house, I think you should be there and someone else should be there with you.

I have an app on my phone that worked great to record conversations - it's called Smart Voice. It has neat features like not recording when it's quiet for some time, and it's very good at adjusting for background noise. You can load these files onto your computer with another app, WiFi File Transfer - that's an awesome app for anything you want to back up from your phone.

I think you're handling this really, really well! I admire your cool - may it last!


M 16 yrs, WH62, P54
3 adult blended kids
EA 11/13, BD1 6/14
PA fall 14, BD2 2/15
Piecing 2015, BD3 12/15
Separated 4/16
WH moved OW in 5/16
Divorced 6/15/17