I know you turned down the writing assignment but writing makes you feel good doesn't it? I really think that you have a book in you - about your experience. Capture that in journal form if you want, but capture it on paper (or disk) so to speak.
The experiences of going it alone, facing up to your past and doing a jail sentence, going through treatment, etc. Write it down as only a writer can. There are bound to be many lessons for others to learn from it.
You may find an audience for your words some day, especially in the Recovery Community. I think of all the books that Hazelden puts out, you may surprise yourself.
Or it might just prove therapeutic and never be seen by anyone but you.
Or turn your pain into a sleezy romance novel under a nom de plume. Write about the steamy romance that you want to happen in your life - embelish away! Maybe it will come true if you dream it on paper!
You are doing great. I am sorry it doesn't work out for you to see your S this weekend, but you are right, it was nice of your H to offer to help make it happen.
Just keep on DBing with your H. It is nice that he called to let you know that his beeper wasn't working. To me it is one of the stupid excuses these men use to make contact when they said they didn't want contact. Of course he won't admit that will he?
But just keep acting the way you have. See what excuse he comes up with to contact you next.
IN fact, I propose we start a list of the lame things that guys come up with as a reason to initiate contact when they broke it off in the first place...
Are you game?!?!?LOL!
totite
"Accentuate the positive, eliminate the negative..."
