I am having a very rough day today. Have bible study at 1...hopefully that lifts my spirits.
I feel like I am just waiting for everything to fall apart. I wish I could go into treatment today. I have to wait about a week and it's really hard.
I can't write. I want to call H..but know better. I have no real friends in town here.
I am so alone.
My son is living with his dad until I get back on my feet. It will probably take me a year or more.
In some ways, this is good as he will be 13 soon and wants a male influence. His dad loves him dearly. His dad has also said he would not take custody from me nor fight with me when I wanted to have him come back and live with me.
I wish I could get excited and say this is a new adventure and that I am ready for it. I'm not. I'm sad and want my H back.
I want H to understand that I was sick. H does not. H will not.
H said the six months I was sober I was just a b**ch that wasn't drinking.
I am losing my H, my dream home, my way of life...it is painful.
Today is not a good day for me.
I pray to St. Rita, patron saint of the impossible...for restoration in my marriage.
I pray to St. Rita, patron saint of the impossible...for help along my journey.
I pray to St. Rita, patron saint of the impossible....for all those who wish for healing in their marriages and relationships.
Thanks for your kind messages. It means a lot. Akgal
