The second conversation should have been left off, except for saying you won't live in an open M. You were pressing to the point of pleading her to tell you she would work on the M. She was not hearing any of what you were trying to get her to say. And you sure won't get a WW to agree to a transparency plan before she is remorseful and ready to go to work saving her M!
You gave away your source of intell, and she will make sure they are more careful now. Which means, they will carry the A deeper underground. She has no intentions of ending it. She's pi$$ed and more determined to rebel.
As I said earlier, your relief will be temporary b/c other pressures will likely take its place. I hope from this point forward you will not inform her of how much you know. It never accomplishes what the LBS thinks it will.
You need to make yourself unavailable to her. Spend as much time GAL as possible. If you do not detach now, you will see no changes in her or the MR. You have to change the dynamics, and all you have done is show your cards.
Do not discuss these matters with other people, b/c it always gets back around to the W.
I agree, but whats done is done, thats why i made sure i let you know exactly what i did here so we could recover if need be, or what not to do again! Im sure this isn't the last time i will have to make a stand at this point. I do feel better though just getting that out. Like i said, i was going to wait since you said too, but after having her make that comment, i felt that was the opening of the door i was waiting for. She is not smart enough to hide this from me for long, and she knows how smart i am with this stuff (some of my job in the Gov't). She can hide it all she wants, i will be able to get access again if needed.
I didnt give away my source of intel, she is guessing and tried to remove everything and change everything. She didn't ask and i didnt say where i got the info from. I said her phone which was actually not it (her comp). Shes guessing and tried to change it all. The biggest thing is i know where she writes all her passwords down, so even after she changes them, i just need to get to the little book she keeps which ill be able to do within the week if needed. She doesnt have a good memory and has to write stuff down, that where i have an advantage because if she didnt end it, she will make mistakes and i will know. I also did not show all my 'cards', i showed her 90%, but not the full deck. I already saw she tried to delete the pics from her HD, she doesn't know i have everything backed up already. She has since put the stuff back in the house again. I already have her FB again which is a good source if needed.
So you said if i was confused to ask, matt posted there is a difference between not pursuing and dbing. can you clarify this? since DB the first thing in your list is 'not to pursue'. i get its more, but am i not understanding something?
Also you are right, she was PISSED, and i could see it in her face, but im still trying to stay positive and now im letting her know i am a man and i will not be disrespected like she was doing anymore. My take away like you said is TIME. What she showed me, and in the last week trying to make plans is i have time! Now is where i need you to make sure i use it wisely and do all i can.
Also, she is now already acting nice again, but we all know that is most likely fake and trying to throw me off (last couple days especially). I know this and i will not be swayed again like before. She has started initiating a couple things, like kissing me before she leaves, but again, im sure this is probably to get me to back off, which isnt going to happen at this point...
