Sit and Spin

[DJin]

I had a couple of suggestions for yer D paperwork if they are not already included:

1) "both parties will strive to maintain a morally healthy environment, including but not limited to, keeping the children away from any person abusing alcohol or using illegal drugs."

Yer W is a very fluid concept right now. She could continue to get weird in a number of ways. This keeps your kids from being in a home where pornography is left where they could find it or any kind of weird intimate stuff is going on (she did suggest an open M after all, that kind of thinking can get bizzare fast), and of course away from substance abuse.

2) a right of first refusal clause

Have yer L write something up that says if either of you will be away from the kids for xx amount of time, and you are xx or less distance apart, you will give the other parent the first opportunity to "babysit" during that time before leaving the kids alone or leaving them with someone else.

This clause does a lot of good. First, it keeps her AP from babysitting yer kids every evening while yer W goes out to work or see friends or go away for a weekend to see family or whatever...you get the first opportunity to have them with you.

Second, if, after the D is finalized, yer W does decide she just wants to party and not spend a lot of time with the kids, you get a chance to have more time with them, and then, without mentioning it at all, you DOCUMENT that extra time until some kind of pattern is set. You need to be as easy going as you can with the extra time so you'll get a lot of it......then, after a while, you return to court to show the judge the difference between the actual time spent together and the time split ordered by the court and request an official modification to give yourself more time.