Hi all. I just got out of the hospital about a week ago. I was there for ten days for depression. Things keep getting worse with my husband. He has had the house appraised and wants to move forward with either selling it or him keeping it and cashing me out of it.
I am going to alcohol treatment in a few days. I am going into a 30 day program. Then, I have to go to jail for a dwi that I was charged with back in 1999. My husband wouldn't let me get a lawyer, so I never dealt with it. I now have a public defender. I imagine I am going to have to do some time. Perhaps as much as six months or a year.
I have moved into the acceptance phase of things. I know that I cannot start my life over until I deal with this dwi and so, I am dealing with it.
I sent my H an email today telling him that I am no longer the weak sick person he knew. I will not roll over and play dead for this divorce or dissolutionment. There are certain things I want if it is to occur and I told him that in no uncertain terms. I also told him that He is the one that wants this...not me.
He called me after reading the email. We talked for quite a while. I validated some of what he said, but also held my ground on some things.
I am still depressed, but no where near as bad as I was. I am stabilized on my medications and I am feeling better than I was. That is not hard to do, however. I was close to suicidal.
I now believe I just have to start one day at a time piecing myself together again. I can't bear to leave piecing because this is where I have always gotten the most support.
Please bear with me as I try to get better. I am going to try and post here once a day or so.
My plans include going back to school to get my teaching certificate up to date. I have to be able to support myself once I get out of jail.
I have told my H that I will not sign any paperwork until I have served my jail time. I need to know that my things are taken care of and as long as we are still married my belongings can stay in the house. He seems to be ok with that so far....I suppose it depends on how much time I get.
We'll see. Pray for me, as I pray for all of you.
I know pray to ST. Rita of the impossible....I pray that she gives me my husband back and gives me my marriage back. She is the patron saint of the impossible. I also pray that she helps all of you who are working hard to save your marriages.
