Sweden beyond rescue it seems.

[Zues126]

[quote=Zues126]
One question dear Zues, since I'm picking up my stuff tomorrow, don't think I'll see him but IF I do, what approach? Happy, breezy and not show how sad I am?

Thanks Tulo, glad we can help each other down this path.

I get fake it til you make it. I get DBing, 37 rules, light and breezy. Yes, you're right.

How I'm feeling is I'm more concerned about you detaching than I am about how you portray yourself to H. H is lost, and so deep in his own problems he's not coming back soon. The tone of one exchange is pretty small potatoes. The "talk" was such a big deal for you (understandably so!), I'd love to see you get to a spot where you don't really care how he interprets your actions.

There's a fine line between being your best self and trying desperately to control something out of your control. When you focus on what's out of your control (your H's views) you will suffer. When you focus on what you can control you'll do better. So yes, light and breezy is nice, or as Dr. Joy Browne (who's book I'm really enjoying) says, "cheerful and stupid". Like you don't understand why you'd be offended. But really, I want you to keep steering away from dwelling on how WAH will perceive you.

I just posted something on BW's thread, please check it out. I feel like I repeat myself a lot, but that's ok. Different ways of saying similar things, and I know we have to work through the same questions every day, many times a day, as our brain and heart try to make sense of what's going on. So maybe it's worth repeating.

Take care Tulo.