Quick update... Have now been in the new place for over a week and it is wonderful... For the first time in months... perhaps even longer than I realized... I can think clearly... It's almost as if I've been in a fog (instead of W) and it does feel so much like a fog has lifted from my mind.
This is allowing me to think much more clearly about myself, my kids, life in general, and the sitch with W. Met her and OW for coffee yesterday morning and it was actually very pleasant. I feel so completely detached now -- nothing she did or said phased me and she seemed much more at ease and happy than she has in months. OW is very nice... very young and probably not fully aware of what she is getting involved in, but very nice, smart, and funny.
I love the new house -- it has SUCH great energy and I feel so comfortable and at home there. I am looking forward to the future -- no matter what it holds... My faith continues to grow stronger and I know that regardless of what the final outcome is, it will be whatever God's plan is for our lives. Feeling very peaceful with that even though it means that I have to live with more uncertainty about the future than I ever have in my entire life. Maybe that's part of this midlife process for the LBS -- to learn that the future is always uncertain regardless of what we think or try to plan. That doesn't mean we can't or shouldn't have hopes, dreams, and plans for the future -- but just need to be aware that anything and everything can change in an instant through no fault of our own.
So this is where I am now. I don't know exactly if we will ever come back together again as a family, but I am feeling so much at peace with everything that the uncertainty doesn't bother me or fill me with fear or sadness. Life is good...
Me 48, Her 50 (Same-Sex Couple) 3 Children Together: 9.5 years before BD BD: Week of 10/27/14 ExW started EA w OW 9/2014 ExW married OW 12/2015
